Would you like some spam with that genealogy sandwich?

Poor Paul Matthews...he's in such a pickle! I just got his email today, and he's sandwiched between the government and a probate claim.

Paul says he's a freelance researcher with a notable Genealogists and International Probate Researching firm. (He must be legit!) And no wonder he emailed me yesterday to help him take a bite out of this spam sandwich - after all I am a genealogist.

Paul dishes to me that he "is specialized in probate research, locating heirs and verifying relationships of heirs to decedents by researching their genealogy and proving heirship." (Is he referring to the Hindenberg? Now I'm getting confused.)

Paul continues to spread it on..."In addition to locating missing heirs for probate research I also conduct probate estate investigation and settlement of unclaimed assets and properties! As a probate researcher with many years of experience in genealogical research I have a good track record for locating heirs."

While I am obviously impressed by Paul's credentials, I couldn't imagine why he was contacting little 'ole me! But Paul wouldn't leave me hanging, and soon he served up the main course. "The reason I am contacting you is to make a direct proposal to you. I have discovered a file to which no claim has been made over the years. I have personally made sure I put this file in my personal vault until I found someone to work with. This claim is ready to be processed by my humble self and payment affected promptly."

I can understand his desire to be efficient, but why was Paul acting like the kitchen is on fire? He continues on with the answer to that burning question: "This is very important as the Government of the United Kingdom is on the verge of confiscating it." Oh, those pesky British again! Back to their old historical tricks. First it's tea, then it's poor Paul's claim. Will they never learn?

I didn't reply to Paul's email right away. I had a podcast episode to get out and a couple of hot games of Scramble on Facebook to finish. I could certainly help Paul thwart the governmental confiscation tomorrow, right?

After sleeping on it, I got up this morning and did a little research. Over 141 million cans of SPAM are sold worldwide each year. They're probably making more money than the oil companies. And I thought to myself, do I really need to buy this one?

Nah, so I shelved it with the rest of the Spam.